when i was drinking

Wed, 27 Jul 2005 22:34:24 GMT

be a doll and vote for me in round two of best cock on the block? here.

vote for me as crashtestcase

thanks!

Thu, 03 Mar 2005 00:53:27 GMT

trying to find the concentration to clean my room but keep coming back to sunday night where i pushed my mouth into yours and wrapped my knuckles into the body of your shirt. pulling at belt loops and throwing you on the couch knowing full well i had to leave for the airport in a matter of minutes to pick up vivian.

i really need to clean my room.

Wed, 02 Mar 2005 07:32:15 GMT

i don't want to be a bad woman
and i can't stand to see you be bad a man
i will miss your heart so tender
and i will love this love forever
and this is why i am leaving
and this is why i can't see you no more
this is why i am lying
when i say i don't love you no more.
cause i want to be a good woman
and i want for you to be a good man.

-cat power "good woman"

stayed up watching movies and drinking cheap beer

Wed, 02 Mar 2005 07:22:06 GMT

a friend of a friend pulled me aside last week for a sloppy intervention. she said, "that girl is toxic," and i said, "you know nothing about me." the girl looked at me with that sad tilted face and said, "you're easy to read, kid." my face grew hot and she said, "i know it isn't my place to say it but i don't think anyone else will: cut the bitch loose." her words were harsh but she used clean cuts to show me what i already knew, what i was already reaching for.

there is something i want to talk to her about but i am trying to find a way out of it. there is a conversation that needs to be had but i don't want it to hamper this process. i have considered going to one of our friends to have this paticular conversation with her for me but i am afraid that will make things much worse. i want her out of my life but i want her happy and healthy at the same time. i don't want to hurt her and i don't want to make her cry and i don't want to have ever known her. to care about what happens to someone while simultaneously wishing they had never entered your life are a couple of hard pieces to reconcile.

Wed, 02 Feb 2005 22:23:44 GMT

and you don't know me but you owe me
a little time to find some peace of mind
and when you hold me i'm not so lonely
it will be difficult to leave this life behind.

-her space holiday

Thu, 27 Jan 2005 23:59:46 GMT

Showers pounding out a new beat
I trade my old shoes for new feet
I grab a new seat
I don't like the one I got
The fabric's wearing through
And it's wearing me out
You're wearing me down

Watching old baseball games
And low budget telethons
Ain't like watching you yourself
When you yourself is on
Got time to wander to waste and to whine
But when it comes to you,
It seems like I just can't find the time

So watch your head and then watch the ground
It's a silly time to learn to swim when you start to drown
It's a silly time to learn to swim on the way down

If I gave you my number
Would it still be the same
If I saved you from drowning?
Promise me you'll never go away
Promise me you'll always stay

Closed down the last local zoo
I'm gonna win the endless war
Over who kills the last koala bear
And who in death will love him more and I
He grabs me by the hand
Drags me to the shore and says
Maybe you don't love me
But you'll grow to love me even more

And I well I'm not surprised

If I gave you my number
Would it still be the same
If I saved you from drowning?
Promise me you'll never go away
Promise me you'll always stay

Showers pounding out a new beat
I trade my old shoes for new feet
I grab a new seat
I don't like the one I got
The fabric's wearing through
And it's wearing me out
You're wearing me down

So watch your head and then watch the ground
It's a silly time to learn to swim when you start to drown
It's a silly time to learn to swim on the way down

If I gave you my number
Would it still be the same
If I saved you from drowning?
Promise me you'll never go away
Promise me you'll always stay

-Tegan & Sara

Tue, 30 Nov 2004 03:25:20 GMT

oh paul. anakin skywalker!? i heart you.

Mon, 29 Nov 2004 21:17:17 GMT

Today my teacher told us that it would "be stupid of anyone" to criticize Kerouac or Shakespeare for writing sexist and racist pieces. This was directly after several students commented how racist and sexist On The Road was.

Winner!

Sat, 27 Nov 2004 08:24:00 GMT

I am not sure who is the culprit. It could have been a joint job. I found Slinky hiding the bag of catnip beneath her belly. She was laying in the middle of the dining room, which is pretty odd for her. And then I found what she was hiding.

And now Slinky is chasing imaginary friends around the living room while Garp is at the windowsill screaming and batting/scratching at his reflection in the window. These kids and their drugs today.

the muscle, bone, and sinews tangle

Sat, 27 Nov 2004 07:33:36 GMT

In Alaska we drink beer in winter because we haven't much else to do except snowboard and gossip. If we work, we are ridiculously overpaid. Shopping centers are scarce which is okay because we haven't a clue about modern style. So instead we stock up on various beers and liquors and we crowd inside of dirty old bars. People outside of Alaska would call these "dive bars." We call them home because we've never known different. The bars were here before us and they will remain here after us. They house generations of drinkers and sturdy bar stools. We'll never know the intended color of these walls. We haven't thought about it much. In Alaska none of us are alcoholics because all of us are alcoholics. It is one of the best executed plans of denial you will ever find.

Fri, 26 Nov 2004 23:56:07 GMT

Last night's Anti-Thanksgiving dinner party was a success. I, however, drank too much. I blame neuroticjones and his obnoxiously large bottle of gin. The two of us stumbled home from The Canterbury some time around 1. He played Space Colony as I tried to keep myself in close proximity to the toilet. Just in case. Luckily, it was never utilized although I somewhat remember wishing it had been.

.

Someone I used to sleep with gave birth to a baby girl last week. I will have more to say about this when I am less hungover.

Tue, 23 Nov 2004 04:27:16 GMT

In case you had any doubts as to whether or not we are still fucking the Native Americans any way we can:

Lets Desecrate 1,000+ Indian Graves For A Bridge

and

Rich White Boys Get Richer By Stealing $$$ From Various Tribes

Happy Thanksgiving!

Mon, 22 Nov 2004 09:50:22 GMT

My brother is online. I just found out that one of our closest childhood friends, the first boy I ever came out to, has an inoperable brain tumor. Weird. I was just scanning a bunch of old negatives from a photoshoot that Jaimie and I did of him during the Braaap Era.

Fucked Up.

Mon, 22 Nov 2004 09:34:48 GMT

Having a major bout of insomnia and there isn't anyone in town that I know would be awake right now. One thing I miss about home is that someone was always up no matter what time of night it was. Here it is just me and the cats.

Last night I dreamt that my best friend (Becky) gave birth to 27 birds. We were very sad because federal law mandated that she could only raise them for two years and then must set them free. I accidently (?) had bird shit in my mouth. We were all very thrilled about the birth. It only briefly occurred to me that it was a little strange that the birds would be birthed instead of hatched from eggs.

What on earth could that mean?

Fri, 19 Nov 2004 09:45:50 GMT

Because the rats were so small when I first got them two weeks ago, and because they are my first rats, I assumed they were male. As time has gone on I have realized this is not the case. The more I read about rats and rat behavior online, the more I began to suspect they were female. Tonight, while playing with the two of them, I noticed that Simon started to vigoursly shake his head/ears every so often. I hadn't read about that yet so I logged on to check it out. I laughed a bit until I realized that Indy gaining so much weight in the past couple of days might not be so funny after all. I have only had them for a couple of weeks so she could very well have become pregnant before I took them in. That would not be amusing at all.

Thu, 18 Nov 2004 23:59:05 GMT

Oh. And I lost my wallet. Again.

Thu, 18 Nov 2004 23:58:03 GMT

Things are looking even worse for the family friend that was recently diagnosed with cancer. My parents have had him and his wife over for dinner and support every night since they learned the news. My parents sound as though they feel pretty helpless when I speak to them on the phone. I feel really awful for my dad. He is pretty torn up over it.

My brother is already back in Valdez. It took him and Henry only a couple of days to drive from Washington to Valdez. I guess they really wanted to get home.

There is no class this week. My teacher had a death in the family so in addition to next week off, we have this week off as well. This could be a good thing except I feel pretty bored and like a total slacker all of this week. It is pretty much impossible to get me out of the house before noon.

The rats and I are very bonded at this point. Indy slept on my shoulder last night while I read a book and then watched TV. Meanwhile, Simon played hide-and-go-seek with me and a stack of pillows. Bringing rats into my home is one of the best choices I have ever made. These guys are awesome.

Post Alley, Seattle, 2004

Thu, 18 Nov 2004 02:41:48 GMT

I've been scanning my negatives for the past couple of days. Will have more to share soon.

Tue, 16 Nov 2004 21:38:40 GMT

Homo-coming 2004: Oh, What a Feelin'

A Benefit for Bent Writing Institute

The First Annual Homo-coming Dance & Football Game

Saturday, November 20th, 2004
Football game: 12:00 p.m.-1:45 p.m. (rain or shine)
Homocoming dance: 8:00 p.m.-12:00 a.m.

*Where?*
Football game: Miller Playfield/ 400 19th Ave E (at E. Thomas)
Dance: LGBT Community Center/ 1115 E Pike St.

*Cost
Football game: Free
Dance: $10 (all ages)

The Bent writing institute presents Homo-coming 2004: Oh, What a Feelin’. Kick off this tried and true tradition with a good ol’ down and dirty football game. Join us at Miller Field for the ultimate showdown of Jocks vs. Poets. Bent students will be competing against the boys of the Emerald City Softball Association. Bring some extra cash to bribe the referee for a few points in your team’s favor or to get your favorite football hottie to play a down in their underpants. Half time show will include new &original cheers by the Sneerleaders and band music by Seattle’s famous Infernal Noise Brigade.

Later that evening, take your ball gowns out of the basement, dust off your tuxedos,   and celebrate Homecoming the way you never have before! It is time for the queers to show’em how it’s done.   Give this tired old tradition some sass and flash on November 20th, 2004 at the LGBT Community Center. In a teal and silver haze of 80’s décor, we will dance the night into frenzy with live DJs and wine bar.

Come cast your vote for Seattle’s First Homo-coming Royalty and take a Homocoming Portrait that will transport you back to the memory of crepe paper and high school gyms. Don’t forget your corsage!

All proceeds will benefit Bent Writing Institute, a Seattle non-profit organization promoting and
encouraging written and spoken word among LGBTQ people; in our community since 2000.
For more information, contact: wordyfemme@hotmail.com.

Tue, 16 Nov 2004 05:34:53 GMT

Another family friend was diagnosed with cancer this week. Doesn't look good. My dad is trying to find a way to fly down with him to Seattle to review treatment options.

I feel bad that I feel excited about seeing my dad.

Sun, 14 Nov 2004 18:58:30 GMT

It turns out that I am more allergic to my rats than I have been to anything before. I didn't use to be allergic to anything! Now both my cats and my rats make me sneezy, stuffed up, and itchy-eyed.

My brother Adam and Henry came to visit this weekend. It was really good to see them. They are driving back up to Alaska now. I hope that at least one of them decides to transfer to Evergreen.

Tue, 09 Nov 2004 18:20:43 GMT

I have named my boys Simon and The Indestructible (Indy for short). Very cute boys. One minor problem: I am more allergic to them than I am the cats. I left my medicine back in Seattle so I need to go see if I can find it here in Olympia. Regardless of the runny nose and itchy eyes, I am still cuddling with them nonstop. They are so cool. Indy is already meeting me at the top of the cage when I get home. Simon is very shy but enjoys napping on my belly.

Yesterday I went grocery shopping for them. Having them means that I will finally have more fresh fruits and vegetables in the house. Last night I dreamt about rats. Lots of them.

Sun, 07 Nov 2004 03:57:50 GMT

I now am the proud mommy of two little boy rats. They need names.

Thu, 04 Nov 2004 05:31:11 GMT

Today I met my first republican on campus. Her name was America. It is her birthday today. GWB was a gift to America.

She's from the south.

I am not making any of this up.

Wed, 03 Nov 2004 08:49:33 GMT

Is it too early to start campaigning for Hillary Clinton 2008?